So is this what it feels like to own a used car?

Rosie, for me, is less than a week old, but she’s really almost three years old.

I collected her on Saturday, but on Sunday morning she wouldn’t start. I called the free Roadside Assistance people who said the battery was almost dead. OK, so twenty minutes later, the battery was recharged and Rosie and I went for a little blast, and all was well.

Well, almost.

Rosie’s boot was full of water. No, not the boot space, but the boot lid. The space where the light cluster lives. Not a good place for water.

I managed to drain it out, and called the dealer and said “Oi!” and Rosie is now going back in to have the seals checked and the battery looked at.

I don’t know, maybe I’m unlucky, but Herman was completely flawless for the almost two years we were together, and now I’m having my first issues.

On a positive note, any work done/parts supplied will be free, and if things do go really pear-shaped, I have a 30-day, no quibble replacement policy, but it’s still a bit disappointing.

I am happy, however, that the pre-sale checks yielded a slightly worn tyre, so Rosie was given four new boots. And a free service.

So things are maybe not so bad.

And like her siblings from last year, she puts a big smile on my face when I push the loud pedal

Yesterday, I went to Silverstone for the Audi Driving Experience.

Why? Well, Herman’s an Audi, and they invited me, and I thought it would be lots of fun. It was.

The day is a mix of fun and learning. You learn about grip, weight distribution, dealing with understeer and oversteer, and the limits of the car, and more importantly, your own limits.

After a brief talk by one of the two instructors, Rob (Netherlands) and Stefan (Austria) we pair up and head out to the cars. The format is two people per car and the instructors are in contact by radio.  This works out really well, because you spend just about the whole day (9am to 5pm) in the car, swapping with your co-driver after a few sets of exercises.

My co-driver Bill was in is upper 70s and a brilliant bloke. He turned up in his Audi RS6. I want to be like Bill when I grow up

First exercise was a short slalom course in the 250hp 3.2 V6 TT. Bill and I picked an S-Tronic (dual clutch, like Herman) model. Half a dozen cones to whiz through, then a tight coned chicane, a hairpin, more cones and a garage box to stop in.  

This was a good exercise to learn the rhythm of driving and how to carry speed. We did 3 sets each with ESP on and 3 with ESP off and our times were recorded. Bill and I both seem to be in the middle of the field on times, so fairly happy with that (ie we didn’t come last!)

Next exercise was an understeer recovery test in the 354hp V8 S5. This was a proper manual and the first time I’d driven one since January. Fortunately, you don’t forget how, but I found it all a bit woolly. A very long clutch, very little feeling in the throttle and steering that felt disconnected.

So, we accelerate hard up to about 40mph, then turn sharply left into a very wet and slippery hairpin, then deal with the inevitable understeer by lifting and unwinding the wheel a bit. A useful lesson, but the least fun.

Last lesson of the morning was high speed obstacle avoidance in the (again manual) 420hp RS4.

OMFG was this thing quick! If you ever want to put a smile on your face, strap yourself into one of these

Anyway, the test. Accelerate hard (you get to about 50-55mph) into a line of cones, where in front of you is some blue cones representing a hazard. The idea is that you don’t have time to break so you just lift off and drive around it, avoiding the cones and trying to keep the car on the course.

This was mostly done with ESP off, so is a good test of reaction to loss of grip. I was extremely pleased that on one of my runs, I lost it and ended up with RS4 pointing the wrong way as I didn’t react quick enough to the tail coming out. Huge smile on face

Lunch was awesome. Amazing what you can rustle up in a camper van

Afternoon and we were back in the RS4 for a lesson of taking the correct line through different types of corner on a track. This was a tightening left hander (almost a hairpin) followed by a 90 right and 90 left.

This was starting to remind me of the license tests you have to do on the Play Station in Gran Turismo

To me, the RS4 was simply awesome. When you floor it, the corner appears before you’ve had time to think, but you turn in anyway and it just sticks to the tarmac with your internal organs trying to exit sideways. OK, after a few runs you get used to it, and begin to feel the limit and learn to control the drift and, more importantly, get faster, but I still stepped away from the RS4 with a big grin and wanting one. Badly.

Next up, back in the S5 for a lesson of ABS breaking. This is the same as the obstacle avoidance test in the RS4, but where you have a bit more time to think, so breaking becomes an option.

Essentially, you break hard and steer around the obstacle and come to a full stop. Having had to do something similar to this in real life, I was not surprised that you can break very hard and still remain in control, but there were others in the group that didn’t.

Last exercise of the day was back in the TT for laps around the Stowe circuit. Ten laps each, swapping with co-driver after five, and with the group, taking it in turns to follow the instructor car. This is good because if you are slow, he backs up, but if you drive right up his trumpet, he zooms off to give you some more room to play with.

Again, huge fun, putting into practice what we’d learned during the day: choosing the right line and break points, dealing with over and understeer and generally how to drive fast round a track.

To finish off the day, the instructors took us out for a couple of entertaining (read mostly sideways) laps of Stowe in the RS4. Yay!

In summary, a top day and good value for money, especially considering the time you spend in the car under instruction. Double especially as it’s someone else’s car, fuel, tires, etc And the food was good.

My thoughts on the cars:

TT – to me seems well balanced, easy to drive and the 250hp quite manageable. A good sporty road car and fun on the track.

S5 – a little soft and woolly. Doesn’t really feel sporty and I’m not sure it deserves the S badge. Very comfy seats though. Almost impossible for me to climb in the back of one.

RS4 – a four door rocket. Hard seats and suspension, so not a car for long journeys and wasted in a city. I still want one though  

Next steps.

Having completed this event, I can now do the Advanced Audi Driving Experience. This will be at Rockingham International circuit and driving the TTS, tuned RS4 and the very exciting R8. Can’t wait

And yes, I probably am having a midlife crisis